


On Wednesdays We Wear Pink

by linwendlandt11



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Crack, Drugs, Han and Luke acting like drunk idiots, Human Disaster Luke Skywalker, Humor, On Wednesdays we wear pink, Sarcasm, darth!dad, long-suffering Han Solo, set between ANH and ESB
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-22
Updated: 2019-11-22
Packaged: 2021-02-17 22:20:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21517357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/linwendlandt11/pseuds/linwendlandt11
Summary: Luke is a disaster who has the Skywalker gene of getting into trouble just by breathing, Han Solo has the never-ending job of trying to wrangle said death magnet, and a certain father who’s just trying to reunite with his son.
Relationships: Luke Skywalker & Darth Vader, Luke Skywalker & Han Solo
Comments: 7
Kudos: 232





	On Wednesdays We Wear Pink

**Author's Note:**

> So I saw this quote on Pinterest listed in ridiculous sentence prompts - “Please put me down it’s just a sprained ankle” and a fic idea was born. So now here we are! I wanted to take a break from my usual attempts at fics, which result in 20 chapter long stories, and just wanted to do a one-shot featuring my favorite Father-Son duo, with Han Solo thrown in the mix as well. 
> 
> So, please enjoy, and if you like it, please leave kudos!

“Please put me down, it’s just a sprained ankle.”

Han huffed as made the mistake of looking down into Luke’s puppy dog eyes. Luke was irresistible when he wanted something (although Han would never admit to the Force having anything to do with it). He immediately snapped his eyes back up and forward to break Luke’s gaze as he ran down the corridor of the tech facility that the Rebels had been trying to steal from.

He readjusted his hold on Luke as the alarms rang out around them. “In my experience, it’s never just a sprained ankle with you,” he replied.

“Oh come on, how was I supposed to know that the mission would go sideways like this?”

Han quirked an eyebrow as he glanced back down, roving over Luke’s form, noticing the scrapes and bruises that Luke failed to mention in that previous statement. “Because it’s you? Something always goes wrong.”

“And we somehow always come out of it perfectly fine! It doesn’t even hurt that bad. I just stupidly twisted it while I was running from that security guard.”

“Yeah, well you should be praising me for rescuing you. If it wasn’t for me, you would have been on your way to Vader right now. You know he has a frankly stupid enormous bounty on us don’t you?”

Luke sighed, “I’m aware.”

“Well, let’s just focus on getting out of here first.” Han stopped at the end of the corridor, looking left and right. “Which way you think?”

“Right is always a good choice,” Luke shrugged. Han turned and ran down the right wing corridor, internally cursing the facility and its maze-like corridors.

“What happened to the rest of the squad?” Han asked in between breaths.

“Killed or captured,” Luke looked down sadly. “I managed to escape, but then that security guard came out of nowhere and almost took me down. It was a miracle I escaped.”

Han snorted. “Yeah, a miracle.” As much as Luke had a peculiar attraction towards trouble, he also had an uncanny ability to somehow escape in the nick of time.

The corridor they were running in ended in a large room with an observation deck above it. Han cursed, looking around trying to find another door. Before he could really search, the doors they just ran through closed shut behind them. Han whirled around. “KRIFF!” He shouted.

Luke and Han both let out rather undignified screams as the floor suddenly gave way beneath them. They fell for a few seconds before they slammed into a large pile of some powdery substance. Luke let out a loud grunt as they landed. He coughed as clouds of pink dust rose around them, settling into their hair and clothes. Wait…pink?

Confused, Luke looked over to see Han sitting up, swearing up a storm and shaking his arms and head trying to dispel the dust. He was also now bright pink. Luke blinked, as he took in the sight, slightly unable to even believe what he was seeing.

Han finally glanced over at Luke and did a double take, staring at him in disbelief. “Are you…are you pink?”

Luke looked down at his arms and groaned. He was bright pink as well. “It looks like some strange sort of space dust or something.”

“Space dust? Pink space dust? What the kriff, Luke?”

Luke looked back up and saw that the hole they had fallen through had been closed back up. There was light coming from somewhere though, he could clearly see both himself and Han. Glancing around, he saw that they were once again in a large room, but this time there was an open corridor before him.

Luke groaned and tried to get up, but found it hard to find any purchase in the shifting substance. Eventually, he just had to kind of roll himself down the slope and onto the floor. Han followed suit.

He tried to get up, but his ankle collapsed underneath him. He swore in Huttese.

Han got up and staggered over to him, shaking himself once more to try and get more of the dust off him. It was to no avail. The stuff seemed to stick to every fiber of their being. He sighed before leaning down and scooping Luke back up.

“I can walk Han.”

“Sure you can,” Han said in a patronizing tone.

Luke sighed, but consented to letting Han carry him again.

“Where do you think this goes?” Han asked.

“Probably nowhere good,” Luke replied. “But we only got one option and that’s forward.”

Han nodded, and they set off down the corridor.

***********

Vader had been overjoyed (though he would never truly admit that) when he had received the call from the nearby tech station that he was supposed to be inspecting. The rebels had broken in, and there was a report of Luke Skywalker being among them.

Finally, after two years of chasing down Luke, only to have him slip away in some fantastic escape, he would finally have his son by his side. No more running, no more chasing, no more having to deal with damned bounty hunters. He tried not to get his hopes up this time, but he could feel the change in the Force. This time would be different.

The shuttle landed in the tech facility’s hanger bay, and Vader wasted no time exiting the craft. He cocked his head as he reached out and felt Luke’s presence somewhere in the building. Although, it felt wrong somehow…Luke was definitively hurt in some way. The leather in his hand creaked as he tightly curled his hand into a fist.

His captain came up to him and saluted.

“Report.”

“The rebel commander and smuggler have just been captured by the security force. They’re awaiting your arrival in the west wing.”

Vader nodded and immediately set off, following the Force presence that was his son. They finally reached the west wing, and Vader wasted no time striding through the doors.

Vader stilled and cocked his head as he took in the scene before him. His troopers surrounded the smuggler, Han Solo, who was cradling Luke to his chest. He was carrying him bridal style and for some reason; both of them were covered in a bright pink dust. He blinked once more, wondering if his oxygen levels needed to be checked.He was further surprised when Luke let out a high-pitched giggle. Solo looked down at Luke and started giggling too. The giggles turned into full-blown laughter as Han dropped Luke and fell over himself, both of them rolling around on the ground.

He stared in disbelief at the undignified behavior. “What’s wrong with them?” He finally asked one of the nearby techs.

“It appears they have inhaled a biochemical substance we have been developing. It seams they are exhibiting some symptoms and side effects.”

“What exactly is that stuff supposed to do?”

“Well…it’s supposed to cause delusion and hysteria. It appears that laughter and loss of clear thinking is a side effect.”

“Obviously.”

The tech winced at the flatness of his tone. 

“Get them off the floor,” he turned and ordered his captain. “Restrain them both and then bring them on the shuttle with us.”

“Yes sir,” the stormtrooper saluted and turned to his men, ordering them to gather up the two men still laughing on the floor.

Vader turned back to the tech and towered over him. “Are there any dangerous side-effects of this substance? Will they make a full recovery?”

“It should wear off in a few hours or so, my Lord. It was meant to subdue people, not kill anybody.”

“You better hope for your sake it doesn’t.” Vader threatened, wagging his finger in the tech’s face. After making sure his threat stuck, Vader whirled back around and watched as his men hustled the two into cuffs. Both were still uncontrollable and clearly not making sense.

“Han, hey Han,” Luke said slash giggled in a loud whisper, “I think Vader just captured us.”

“No way kid! I thought the black behemoth was just some useless asthmatic droid walking around doing a poor imitation of Vader.” They both stopped and then fell back into raucous laughter.

“Oh man! We are so screwed,” Luke said, still giggling.

“You’re sooooo right,” Han said, blinking slowly back at him.

“Hey Luke?”

“What?”

“Luke?”

“What?”

“We’re both bright pink. If only her Highness could see us now.” They both laughed loudly again, completely ignoring the troopers and also Vader standing over them.

Tired of their antics, Vader reached forward, grabbing Luke’s arm and pulling him up off the floor. Unable to stand from his still sprained ankle and because of the drug, Luke pitched forward into Vader’s arms. Vader suddenly found himself giving an impromptu hug to his son.

Luke’s head rolled back and he looked up at Vader with bleary eyes. He seemed unaware, or just didn’t seem to care that Vader was literally holding him.

“You’re tall,” he muttered, his head lolling forward and resting against Vader’s chest. “Like really tall.”

Vader didn’t know how to respond to that. Thankfully, Luke continued his muttering saving him from replying. “Your chest is nice and cool, I’m just gonna lay here for a bit, ok? Tell Uncle Owen that I’ll work on those moisture evaporators later.” And with that, Luke’s eyes rolled in the back of his head, and he passed out.

Vader made the semblance of sigh, staring down at his drugged child. Reaching down, he fully picked up his son, carrying him bridal style, much like Han had been when he first walked in. He didn’t even mind that his suit and cloak were slowly being covered in a bright pink dust. He had his son and that was all that mattered.

He ordered the stormtroopers to gather up Solo, who had fallen over and passed out as well. He glanced down at his sleeping child. Luke’s bangs had fallen into his face, and Vader without even realizing what he was doing, tenderly brushed them back off his face. When Luke awoke again in a few hours, Vader resolved that they would have a serious talk.

Turning, he walked out ahead of his troopers dragging Solo's unconscious body behind him, his son secure in his arms.


End file.
